Stepping onto a scale is a weird experience. You take your clothes off, stand on a square box and look down to see what number will show up. This number doesn’t have any value on its own but somehow, what we see staring back at us can leave us feeling happy, sad, guilty, mad, accomplished, worried or a hundred other things. As a society, we have decided that certain numbers are acceptable and certain numbers are not.

I remember when I was newly married, I was trying to gain weight. I was very thin and could eat a whole pie or a dozen donuts and not gain a pound. My Dad had been nicknamed ‘bone racks’ in high school and my genetics seemed to be following the same trend. Later, when I filled out a little more, people still commented on how small I was. Depending on the tone, it was either a compliment or a criticism of my size… something I really had no control over. Looking back, it was a wonder that people felt the need or right to comment on my body at all. I guess the number on the scale was good or bad, depending on who was judging.

Years later, after struggling to get pregnant, I underwent IVF treatments to have a baby. It was a success! I gained 60lbs during pregnancy and had to work really hard to get the weight off afterwards. I later found out someone had commented that he hoped his future wife didn’t look like me after having a baby. I was both mortified and angry. I had just grown a human in my body after much struggle and I was reduced to a number, as if that was the only thing that mattered. I lost the weight. It was even harder after my 2^nd pregnancy, but I shed the pounds again. Pat on the back. The number on the scale was correct.

Several years later, as I approached 40, I felt some invisible force tap the brakes on my metabolism, like almost everyone does around the same age. I changed how I was eating, started moving a little more to fit into my clothes. None of these changes in my lifestyle were a bad thing. I actually started to feel better on the inside as well. I had more energy, less brain fog. My digestion improved and funny symptoms started to disappear. Despite these positive benefits, when I stepped on the scale, I would feel good or bad, depending on the number. How could a number hold so much power? Even when I felt good inside my body, I’d step onto the scale just to check, as if that number would tell me more than what my own body was saying to me.

Who decided what number was a good one or a bad one for my body and for yours? We’ve given preferential treatment to a weird square contraption over our own intuition. We ignore what our own bodies are saying. Our bodies are actually really smart.

At the end of 2022, I made a decision to do something different in the new year and give my body the credit she deserves. I decided to trust her. I decided not to weigh myself once in 2023. Over a month in, I feel better than I have in a long time. Instead of the scale, I’ve been paying attention to how I feel.

Am I happy?

Do I have energy?

Do I feel good?

Am I sleeping well?

Do I enjoy the food I’m eating?

Did I have fun?

Was it time well spent?

Do I feel connected?

These are the things that matter. These are the things that make for a happy life. And when these things are paid attention, the result is a body that is the shape and size she’s meant to be. And the truth is… I am not a number and neither are you.

Xo, Bon

I am not very good at rest and moving slow. I am a list maker, a planner and a get ‘er doner. It feels unnatural to do life any other way and most of the time, I’m actually happiest when I’m productive. Do you relate? I have friends who do and some who don’t! However you’re built, there’s not a right or wrong way to do life! But for myself, I tend to be happiest on my feet and moving most of the time.

Strangely, I’ve been feeling a very strong pull these days to make rest a priority in my life. We’ve always planned ‘rest days’ as a family but I’ve often felt a lot of anxiety on those days as I tried to REST. My eyes would roam the room, seeing all the things that could be done. Even if I resisted the pull to do something, my mind would be running a hundred miles an hours with future tasks and plans. Resting has been a stressful endeavor for me!

After 6 years of being self-employed, running my little business ‘BonHome’, flipping houses, I decided to become an employee for a change. The real estate market has been a little topsy turvy this past year (I’m sure you’ve noticed!) and I wasn’t really feeling the fire doing generic remodels anymore. There was only so much room for creativity with my projects. After my last project, I told my husband it might be the last one. So I’ve been on a new adventure with a job that has set hours and an early start… 7:30am everyday! It’s definitely been an adjustment (not a morning person!!) but I like my work and after 6 weeks, I feel like I’ve found ways to fit in the things I had plenty of time for before… workouts, time with friends… it’s not enough time but it works for now. During this last month and a half, I’ve noticed that I’ve needed to be more conscious about taking time to rest. Not having an abundance of time to schedule how I choose has left me feeling like I need to budget my off-work hours more carefully.

As the holidays were sneaking up on us and we looked at the calendar, I started to feel panic at how full things were getting. We are notorious for filling our calendar TO THE BRIM in our everyday life and for the most part, not sorry about it. But this year, I knew I needed something different for the holidays. It may be the big life changes that have shaken up my routine or maybe just wisdom as I’m getting a little bit older but I’m listening. I’m taking time to sit on the couch when there’s plenty to do. I’m reading another chapter when I have a pile of mail to go through.  And the more I do it, the easier it’s getting. It’s almost like working out. At first, it’s really hard but as you get stronger, it starts to feel good and you even crave the movement. That’s how I’m starting to feel about rest. It feels good. I’m craving it.

For the first time in my adult life, my holidays are not jam packed and I am not exhausted 3 days before Christmas. I could almost cry at this realization. How sad that it’s taken me this long to even attempt to slow down during the holidays.  There will always be dishes, laundry, errands, mail to open, invitations, appointments… you know the drill. The list never ends. For whatever it’s worth, I hope you feel inspired to take a break.

I’ll leave you with this. It’s my wish for all of us.

I wish you quiet nights, warm drinks, soft blankets and good movies. I wish you laughter in the company of people you love and feel safe with. I wish you good food that you enjoy without a single thought about calories… eating for the joy of it! I wish you time to sit and take a moment to feel how you feel. I wish you really good sleep in comfy pajamas. I wish you good books and good music. And most of all… This Christmas I wish you the slowness of the holiday season. It does exist and it’s there for you to find!

xo Bon

In November of 2021, my son got Covid. It was back when everyone had to stay away from others for 10 days so we all stayed home. We canceled our trip to Florida. We canceled Thanksgiving. And then my husband also got Covid and it turned into 3 dreadful weeks of just being home. I’m sure many of you experienced this same story at some point… probably even the canceled trips or holiday plans.

I can tell you I didn’t have the same attitude I did when Covid entered our lives in 2020. I didn’t clean out the closets and start trying new recipes. I just went on Instagram. A lot. It was my window to the outside world and a way to connect with people while I was stuck at home. When everyone was recovered and the kids were back in school, I found myself checking Instagram so many times throughout the day and even picking up my phone for no reason whatsoever. Apparently I’d hit a new level of photo addiction and it didn’t feel good. I knew it was time to break the habit.

Little side note: I don’t do Snapchat or Facebook. Facebook got deleted years ago because of all the drama. The articles people post, the arguments people have… It ruined my day enough times that I just didn’t want to spend time there anymore. I post my blogs and sell things on marketplace and that’s about it.

Okay, back to breaking the social media habit. Deleting Instagram felt a little bit scary for me because I’ve relied on it to help prop up my social life through Covid and it had started to feel like an essential part of maintaining friendships and even, making them. If you know me, you’ll know friendship and community are really important to me. I invest a lot of time and heart into cultivating a sense of belonging. I was nervous that stepping back from social media would isolate me. The first few days were hard and I noticed myself picking up my phone with nowhere to go. Eventually, I stopped picking up my phone as often.

I didn’t delete Instagram with any expectations other than to stop being so glued to my phone but over the 30 days I was off of it, some really big things happened.

1. I began to be more present in my actual life. The more distance I put between myself and all online interactions, the more grounded I felt. It was even a physical feeling. I would think about Instagram and then realize I wasn’t going to check it and I could feel my thoughts settle back into my body and away from an “out there” digital space. My body started feeling present in the spaces I was physically in. It’s hard to explain but it felt good.
2. I took less photos. This might sound like a negative but it’s not. I still took photos but they were purely for my own enjoyment. Capturing the moment for our family instead of my 500 closest friends helped me just take the picture without trying to make sure it was great. And then we’d move on to the next moment. No food pictures, not a single photo where I was thinking about what I’d caption with it when I posted it. Just the memory and then back to living in the present moment.
3. My phone usage went down A LOT. With my phone spending more time on the counter, I used it about 30% less. That adds up to a lot more time living life. I read somewhere recently that people spend about half of their waking hours on their phone. That’s half their life. Half their LIFE! It’s something to think about.
4. This last one was a huge surprise. I felt less lonely. It’s ironic that staying off a media tool built to create connection actually lead to feelings of loneliness. I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about this very thing last week that talked about how women are “often online and increasingly lonely” and I related. And it’s not like I don’t see people or have friends. I work really hard to maintain my relationships. I think what happened was that I didn’t see all the fun things others were doing, the highlights of people’s lives and who was hanging out with who. I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. It was the most unexpected part of my social media break.

Since that 30 day break, I’ve deleted half the accounts I followed. I’m going to delete more. I’m down to design/decor, a few celebrities I like and friends. I add and deleted the app about once a week because I don’t have the self control to just leave it alone when the app is on my phone. I still like to check in, post a photo and see what’s going on but that month break was such a reminder of how life used to always feel and I want more of it. I want to be engaged in my real life… the one that’s being lived away from a phone screen. I want to feel present and grounded. And I like feeling less lonely. Real friends will check in, regardless of your social media presence. I know people use Instagram for work and business so I know not everyone can just step away for huge periods of time. But take a break. You might be surprised by how good it feels!

xo Bon

** Photos used with permission from Ride Culture.

The first time I went to a spin class, it was in a giant generic gym. The lights were florescent and harsh, the music was blah and the instructor kept telling me to pretend I was climbing a hill, to imagine the scenery. If I wanted to climb a hill and enjoy the view, I’ll get on my mountain bike, thank-you. I left that class unimpressed and never went back.

Fast forward years later when my friend Caitlin Walker invited me to try a spin class with her in Vancouver, BC. I knew there was a newer genre of spin studios (think SOULCYCLE) that people seemed to love so I figured I should give it another shot. This class was much different than my first experience years earlier! The music was loud, the studio was dark and nobody tried to get me to imagine I was climbing anything! What did happen was something more like this: I clipped into the pedals, the music started and I began one of the most intense workouts of my life! I’ll admit, there were a couple moments when I wondered what I’d signed up for and if I’d make it through the class without passing out. But by the end, I felt amazing. Not only did I get the workout of my life, I also felt inspired, energized and maybe like a little bit of a badass! I wished there was something local so I could get that kind of workout on the regular.

This is where I get to tell you… Bellingham is getting its very own spin studio and you’ll have the chance to see what I mean! The same Caitlin Walker who introduced me to spin has dreamed up a beautiful new studio called Ride Culture, located next to the future home of Scotty Browns in Barkley Village and it is exactly what Bellingham has been missing!

A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to join in on a training class prior to Ride Culture’s opening. The class was challenging and my heart rate definitely got up there! If I could describe how it felt to be in this spin class, I would choose ‘supported.’ Caitlyn’s constant encouragement to push hard coupled with reminders to listen to my body created exactly what I look for in a workout class. I want a workout that will challenge me but I also don’t want to feel stupid for not being able to stay at the class pace the whole time. You won’t feel this at Ride Culture.

I had a chance to sit down with Caitlin to get a little more info on her new project and I’m excited to share with you!

How did you come up with the idea for Ride Culture?

Pretty much the way I approach life. If I want it and it doesn’t exist, I’ll create it! After taking a SOULCYCLE class in 2012, I started dreaming of what it would take to create something similar for my community.

What is your inspiration for the name?

The word “Culture” incites memories of travel to new countries and experiencing other cultures which, having grown up in Thailand and Costa Rica, is close to my heart. Culture = Community to me. Every home, office, etc has its own culture. I wanted to create a place where we could all bring our cultures together and create a place full of diversity, energy and kindness for everybody and everyBODY.

What motivates you?

I am motivated by a desire to take care of others. As a child I thought I’d become a nurse. I grew up watching my parents give back to the less fortunate in Asia and Central America. As an adult I’ve found my way to give back by helping others become healthier and happier through exercise. Now if I could just find a solution for the obesity rate, food insecurity, etc…

What would you say to someone to who has never tried spin?

I hope your first class is as life changing for you as it was for me. Riding in sync with others in a dark room with the beat of the music driving you to push yourself makes you feel like you can accomplish anything!

How is Ride Culture prepared for opening safely during the pandemic?

We had the advantage of our building being under construction during 2020. We learned we could enhance our safety protocols by installing UV air scrubbers and lighting into our studio. This technology will ensure our space is not only sanitized but also thoroughly disinfected.

 When you think about people coming into Ride Culture for the first time, what do you hope they experience?

I hope they are wow’d by the design, feel pampered by the amenities; that they feel welcomed and become slightly addicted to the workout!

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Ride Culture has an open house on Saturday, March 27th from 10am-12pm to check out the studio, purchase a ride class pack and get entered for some great prizes! Doors open for business on Monday, March 29th and you can visit their website www.rideculture.com for more information. I cannot rave enough about Ride Culture. It’s a beautiful and inspiring place to work out and you’ll leave feeling more at home in your body, grateful for all it can do. I hope I see you there!

xo Bonnie